In this newsletter, you will find:
- A quick recap of who I am.
- What it’s like being married to a wealthy man
- How and WHY I went from engineer to housewife to my first husband, and a peak inside my life back then.
- How my first marriage kick-started my business ventures and how it helped me create my own wealth.
Hello hello, my sweet girlie,
Well… It’s been a minute!
I know, I know! you’re probably mad at me for disappearing again! But don’t you worry, I am going to make it up to you. It’s a promise.
I‘ve missed you and I missed writing to you! I hope you didn’t forget about me.
But in case you have forgotten about me, let me reintroduce myself to you. I am your favorite gold-digger who writes under the pen name of Celine Gray, and here are some of my most-read posts in case you’re new to my content:
Many ladies have reached out to me in these past couple of months to check up on me ( and for that I am immensely grateful ). The truth is, thankfully nothing bad happened, and no funerals or deaths like the previous time (Here is a link in case you missed my post about Middle-Eastern upper-class funerals and family dynamics.)
I was just focused on work and life in general, I had a major renovation, rebranding, and re-opening of a small hospitality business I own that was closed down for the past 4 years ( thanks covid), in addition to my other professional obligations.
Thankfully it’s now up and running after it consumed every bit of attention and time I had. Now I can finally breathe and go back to all of the hobbies and activities I was missing, particularly this blog.
To be completely honest, I also preferred not to be digitally present unless I had something of substance to say and had time to interact and engage with you on what I write. Additionally, being in the middle of tiles, paint buckets and endless meetings wasn’t particularly inspiring me to write about hypergamy, gold-digging, and glamour!
So I took a step back to reflect, organize my time, do some research, hire some people to help me with my blog and take my online presence to the level I aspire for it to be instead of freestyling it like I did before.
I truly don’t know how so many content creators claim to have full lives (professionally and personally ), especially the hypergamy-oriented ones, and still manage to create a lot of content consistently and have a continuous presence online.
Since we are on the topic, I would like to let you know that I do NOT offer coaching sessions or any sort of paid services. I receive a lot of emails from ladies requesting a session or more info about my services. I am very flattered and honored that you hold me in such a high regard. But unfortunately, I don’t offer coaching services. (Maybe a workshop in the future around a specific topic? let me know your thoughts on that by replying to this email, I read all of them personally )
In addition to that, I am not selling any courses that will give you the life of your dreams overnight. I am just a lady who loves to write about the topics she wanted to read about 20 years ago.
All I can do ( and anyone for that matter) is show you A way, my own way … by sharing my thoughts, my mishaps, my lived experiences, and what I learned along that journey.
I can show you what I did and how I did it, with the hope that any lady who is trying to achieve something can find value in it.
Forgive me for the little detour,
Let me get back to the topic I am so eager to talk to you about.
As previously mentioned I was in the middle of a major renovation and reopening of a little hotel I fully own NOW ( more context on that coming up later )... anyway, I wanted it to be up and running before the high season of 2024.
The reason why I wanted to talk to you about this specific business of mine is that this little hotel I was resuscitating is of great sentimental value to me. It doesn’t make the big bucks compared to other business ventures in other industries (If you happen to be familiar with the hospitality business, you know that a little luxury boutique hotel in the south of France is far from being the cash-cow type of business).
Nevertheless, its value to me goes beyond what it makes ( as long as it’s afloat). It was my very first hypergamy prize business-wise, my starting point as a businesswoman, and so much more.
I was 32 (15 years ago), freshly married to my first husband. I had previously quit my corporate job to be able to relocate with him and start a new chapter (I worked as an engineer for nearly 10 years).
It wasn’t a hard decision for me to quit my job, I couldn’t wait for the right opportunity to do so. I had worked hard to find a wealthy man I loved and with whom I could have a fulfilling relationship on many fronts. But, in full transparency, I did let my husband back then believe that I did it mainly for him… which granted me this business opportunity he helped me secure ( this little hotel).
My ex-husband had given me some ownership shares and full executive power to manage a little establishment as a thank-you for leaving my corporate job in Paris and relocating with him. Best gift I have ever gotten.
The hotel was on the verge of bankruptcy before he acquired it back then. It didn’t matter much to me, first because I was clueless about business and entrepreneurship and I just needed a project other than being a wife, I wanted something of my own. A success. The ability to create something of value, and be intellectually stimulated.
I wasn’t in any financial need, nor was I particularly interested in entering the hospitality industry. I just grew extremely bored of all of the mindless activities I was spending my time on. And the worst of all, it was by choice.
I had spent years dreaming and planning the life I was finally able to live but it felt unbearable. And it wasn’t anyone’s fault but my own. I wanted to be a rich housewife, as juvenile as it sounds. I had reached corporate work fatigue but I misdiagnosed it as a desire to be a stay-at-home wife.
I thought that being well taken care of and not having financial worries of any kind would make me the happiest. And it did… for a while.
Yes, going from a fixed salary ( not a bad one) and whatever side hustles I had back then to being the esteemed wife of a well-respected high-earning individual did bring me a lot of comfort and happiness. But after a year, I just want it more.
I didn’t want to trade it for my previous life. I loved the money, the lavish lifestyle, the luxury, and the convenience of being generously provided for and tended to. I relished the sense of security my husband’s wealth made me feel.
Nonetheless, I craved the purpose, the status, and the “busyness” of my work. I was bred to live a somewhat tumultuous yet successful academic and professional life. I was raised as such, to be a go-getter ( get what and to what end ? I don’t know). And no amount of money and financial comfort could deprogram me.
I had made a 180° turn because I didn’t know any better. I didn’t know myself very well. I knew I wanted more money and higher social status, I knew that I needed to marry into wealth to achieve that and I did. I loved the man I married and I loved my life with him. So on a personal level, I was very content. But something was still missing, and at first, I refused to believe that I missed some aspects of working and running with the big dogs. Objectively I had everything I thought I wanted, not only that, I had everything every other woman wanted but never admitted to herself.
The first year of our marriage was a dream. I rested, picked up all the fancy hobbies you could imagine, re-read the classics of literature and philosophy, traveled the world, went on endless shopping sprees, and spent days getting pampered in the most exclusive spas… I was like a child in an endless Disney park.
It’s not that I wasn’t used to luxury. I have been very familiar with the finer things in life for quite some time due to my dating choices even before my first husband.
But I was never that available for it. After quitting my job, I was with him on every business trip around the world… a year-long honeymoon.
I indulged, with great pleasure in all aspects of my new lifestyle and duties, the dinner parties, the Galas, the social & cultural affairs, the art shows, the fashion shows… I enjoyed every part of it without hurry or shortcuts.
I was finally able to do all those things I never had time to do. I could sleep in, have a nice breakfast, and go for a walk without a care in the world. No taxes to file, no bills to check on, no calendar or emails to check, no household to run… I knew everything was handled.
One thing they don’t tell you about money is that it frees up A LOT of your time.
And I know that while reading this, especially if you are at the beginning of your financial ascension, you might think that this is the dream! and yes it was… still is!
But I want you to know that life isn’t binary, my goal is to give you a nuanced perspective beyond the glitz and glamour… and to remind you that a 50/50 relationship or trophy wife are not your only options. I know it seems like it ( especially nowadays on the internet )
I like being generously taken care of, I intentionally sought it, but I like to have financial success on my own too (not that I would ever contribute). It took me quite some time just to realize that I could have both… to a reasonable extent.
When we fantasize about day number one of our dream life, or even month number one. We idealize it, understandably so. When we are too ambitious, we dream of something so far away from what we know, from what we are accustomed to ( as we should ). Our brains as human beings don’t get into the day-to-day of our dream life, simply because we do not know of it ( at least before the internet).
We don’t automatically think of what we would be doing on day number 100 of our dream life. We unconsciously think of it as a period limited in time. Like a hedonistic escapade. So, when the excitement of novelty wears off, and it does, sooner or later… after you have done it all and seen it all. You’re left with yourself, your not-so-different self, and a lot of time on your hands.
It’s not a bad thing, it’s just new!
I am not here to tell you that money doesn’t buy happiness and all that fluff no one believes! Money and access DO buy happiness if you know how to use them. The thing is, I didn’t know how to use it to that end because I never had more than what I needed. I watched what other women around me did to find some sort of purpose or meaning and mimicked them.
Some were very happy and content with that life. I wasn’t. I battled with that a lot internally, I felt guilty for feeling unfulfilled.
It took me a good year to come to peace with myself and realize that the life I was fantasizing about lacked a little something I found later on in business …
And I am certainly not here to whine about the fake misery and “ hard life” of stay-at-home wives of rich men, because I've lived it… and it’s as easy as life can get.
I am here to paint a nuanced picture of what you might be idealizing so that before you make a life-altering decision, think it through.
Before you commit for life to being a stay-at-home wife or a trophy wife, make sure that you’re doing it with a flexible well-meaning partner who can at least talk through any change of heart you may have in the future… ( or get a solid exit plan ) Otherwise, what is the point of seeking financial comfort through a wealthy partner if you can’t enjoy it?
In addition to all of that existential torment that could have been solved by having kids, a college course in a new field, a business venture, and “champagne” charity work (which I was already doing… and yes, the majority of “socialites” go into charity work for the reasons I listed previously … which I have no problem with, as long as they’re doing some good in society) I was battling with an even bigger issue (to me).
I had realized, in a very tangible and real way, that the lifestyle I was enjoying so much and my livelihood were fully contingent on my husband.
It wasn’t an epiphany, I knew what I was getting into and I intentionally pursued it, but there is a big difference between thinking about something and actually living it with all its details.
I loved my husband and I had no intention of leaving him at that time, but being by his side and under his wing while he did business taught me more than what an MBA could have.
By observing and absorbing how successful men in my husband’s orbit conducted their business affairs and managed their wealth, I started to comprehend the significance of my decision and its potential impact.
No intelligent investor would tie all of his revenue streams to ONE investment, regardless of the “quality” or profitability of that said investment. So why was I?
The more I became financially aware, the more I realized that having my entire livelihood tied to ONE individual wasn’t something I could mentally cope with stress-free. (More so because I was supporting/helping elevate my family financially)
I had to do something about it. I knew I wasn’t going to start making good money right away, but I had to do something and start somewhere.
Going back to the corporate world was out of the question for many reasons. The time investment alone would jeopardize my marriage. Geographically it was impossible.
It was exhausting, and after 10+ years in it, in a fiscal environment like France’s, I knew my career would plateau in terms of financial growth.
I chose business back then mainly because it has the income potential, learning, and growth opportunities, on top of that I had access to my ex-husband’s network and professional resources and it seemed like a waste to not utilize it to my financial advantage.
Stay tuned for the second part on Thursday the 23th where I will go in-depth about:
- The details of what it’s like to be married into a higher socio-economic class when you’re from a lower economic class.
- My first business venture, its failures, and its successes, how I brought that little hotel back to life to first time and how i ended up FULLY owning that little hotel …
- The relationship dynamic I had with my ex-husband…
- How and WHY I went from a retired engineer to housewife to the kick-ass businesswoman I am today and how my first marriage played into it.
Don’t forget to add me to your contact list so you get all my newsletters and feel free to respond to this email, i love reading your feedback.
Céline, with love ❤
I am Celine Gray
I write (anonymously) about everything I learned from 25+ years of dating up and marrying up (twice).
If this is something that appeals to you, subscribe to my monthly newsletter where i talk unapologetically about hypergamy strategy, money, glamour, gold-digging economics, and how to make it to the top...the woman way...and be happy! ( Fluff-free guaranteed).
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