Before you read my sincere opinion, I would like for the ladies who are not financially where they want to be to believe in their ability to succeed in whatever they wish. And to never think it only happens to the lucky ones or the model-looking women. It happens to smart women.
Most women from all cultures, generations, and eras agree on one thing when it comes to relationships. Always learn and develop the knowledge/experience necessary to generate an income even if you don't need it, especially when you don't need it.
The worst mistake a woman can make in 2023 is to try to cling to the cliche of the ''traditional relationship'' portrayed and made by Hollywood. and replicate the power dynamics of "the feminine damsel in distress" and "the masculine savior". (exceptions exist but are you willing to bet your life on a statistical anomaly ?)
This fantasy created by a multi-billion dollar industry, perpetuated by inexperienced gurus and influencers and naively believed by young women, that the modern successful quality men will fall for some " fragile performative femininity" and lay his resources at her feet is nothing but pure delusion. Men with means are very protective of their money, for you to have access they need to see you as an asset, and not a liability.
Intelligent successful men today see you as their equal in life opportunities.
They require you to match their intellectual aspirations and expect excellence and competence as much as they do from men.
They might want you in the passenger seat as their companion and life partner but they expect you to know how to drive, but to choose not to.
Do not mistake excellence for arrogance, or ambition for masculinity. Rest assured ladies, all these qualities don't negate your femininity and softness, on the contrary, they enforce them.
An intelligent woman knows how to cultivate her femininity and how to use it to her advantage, she knows how to read a room in order to seduce, and her fragility and vulnerability are not something to unveil to the whole world, but a privilege her man needs to earn.
If I have one piece of advice for you ladies, it would be to aim for success in everything, professional, romantic...and most importantly financial. Yes, it's important to get the rich man, but what's more important is to have the rich man bring you up the socioeconomic ladder with him, then if you decide to go your separate ways you're not back at square one. The modern quality wealthy man wants an educated, cultured woman by his side (even as a homemaker), don't listen to what some men say when they're angry with their wives, but watch who they've chosen as wives.
A good man with resources wants a woman he can proudly take to business dinners, a woman who can lift him up and raise his social status not only by her beauty but by her poise, her social skills, her intellect, and her intelligence. And from my personal experience, consider me your internet aunty who's done it all, when he wants you as an accessory to his lifestyle, and all he wants to provide arr gifts and lavish trips but nothing of substance that can elevate you financially and potentially make you independent, he is not looking for a serious long-lasting relationship that will benefit the both of you (he wants you on a leach), and even when you marry this kind of man, be sure that you will be getting the worst end of the deal.
Develop your intellect and business acumen as much as you develop your appearance for when the right rich man comes into your life, he can invest in your business idea, pay for your education, buy you stocks...mentor you.
Become a self-educating machine, so when you find your happily ever after, he won't bat an eye if you ask him to inject capital into your business and bring along his network to support your growth. Because he will trust that you're going to double whatever he invests in you.
And if you want to be a homemaker, aim to be the best homemaker you can ever be. But keep working on yourself and your education, because sometimes the worst is not only divorce, it can be sickness or death god forbid... and you don't want to be left out with money and no skills and knowledge to keep it and eventually grow it.
Choose an intelligent successful man whom you respect as a partner, make sure he loves you, and you'll have no issue letting him lead, all your control-overly-self-reliant issues will disappear. You will trust his instincts, his judgment, and his decisions. If you're too afraid to give up the reins, you're with the wrong man.
Don't let yourself get bullied into submission by underserving self-proclaimed masculine "alpha" leaders.
But the key to success in hypergamous dating is to be a good judge of character, to learn how to weed out the posers, the insecure, and the toxic because the last thing you want is a mentally unhealthy man with unlimited resources in your life.
I hope you find this post helpful, feel free to share it with whoever might need some thought-love.
Your internet hypergamous sister or aunty for the younger ladies.
Please feel free to reach out if you have any questions or just want to connect.
I am Celine Gray
I write (anonymously) about everything I learned from 25+ years of dating up and marrying up (twice).
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Céline, with love ❤
