Celine Gray

Fake wealth and the “soft life” pipe dream!

The other side of the hypergamy coin they don’t talk about!

Hello, my beautiful ladies,

Today I want to touch on and correct some misconceptions I’ve been seeing quite a lot in social media since I joined this corner of the internet.

Myth #1 :

“ Marrying a high-earning provider man is a guaranteed one-way ticket to financial comfort!”

Wrooong !!!

Marrying/being with a rich man should not be your end game! It should only be the beginning of your real financial ascension journey!

Marrying into a higher tax bracket is certainly a milestone worth pursuing, but it’s not the big break you think it is.

And this is coming from a woman who’s been married twice, both times to wealthy men, intentionally.

A woman can marry a high net worth individual ( multimillionaire/billionaire) have the dream wedding, the lavish mansions, drive extravagant cars, vacation in the most exclusive places, and live an exceptionally comfortable life… and own absolutely nothing! Not even the Birkin bag you see all over their Instagram photos! And walk out with close to nothing!

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Those situations are the most common, not the anecdotal fairy tale where the ex-wife is set for life ( these are not even the 1% and I can break down for you its exact circumstances )

In my 47 years on this earth, I can't count the number of women I have personally encountered who bought into the lie “I will have half of his money” or “I am set because we have kids” and ended up paying the price of their naivete. And yes, it happens in most 1st world countries around the world ( even in the most standard “by-the-book” divorce arrangements)... I can’t even get started on developing countries and lawless nations.

Matrimony and divorce laws are very elaborate and full of loopholes and technicalities only a good ( independent ) lawyer can understand.

Not to mention that they are specific to each country and state. The split of what is considered “marital wealth “is more complicated than you can fathom, more so when the spouses come from very different tax brackets before getting married ( which is the whole point of marrying up).
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Past a certain net worth ( And not a big one either) money and assets are not sitting stagnant in a bank account, they are managed by private bankers, assets and wealth management firms, financial advisors, and business managers ( as they should) to shield it from potential liabilities, high-taxation, market fluctuations, local political turbulence… ( and divorces).

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There is a whole financial and legal structure the money travels through before it ends up in your hands.

And that’s exactly why you see lots and lots of older wealthy men having absolutely no issue getting their 2nd or 3rd 20-ish years old trophy wife and not losing a minute of sleep over it!

They know their money and their legacy are very well protected ( as it should) by very competent specialized lawyers.

I don’t mean to rain on your parade ladies, nor to crush your dream… on the contrary! I want you to step up your game and get your facts straight so you can make informed decisions that will elevate your socio-economic status in a real and concrete manner.

And listen, I know that some of you are very young and probably inexperienced with men and life in general. And some of you feel intimidated by business and finance lingo (and it’s normal)... But you live during a time where you have no excuses for being oblivious or leave it to luck and wishful thinking. Especially if you don’t have the safety net of a well-established family and its resources to turn to in situations of need, you simply can’t afford to be uneducated about these matters if you want to thrive in hypergamy and frankly …in life altogether.

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All that, and I am talking about a normal separation/breakup from a pretty “ decent” man who means you no harm. I didn’t even get to the husband who turns petty and vindictive because he can’t emotionally handle the “rejection”, and the financially abusive ones.

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And yes even the high-value/caliber gentleman is not supposed to and is not going to fund your comfort and lifestyle and continue to substantially support you after being separated. Even if he does so out of courtesy and graciousness, it’s going to end as soon as he gets with another woman.

Except for high-profile couples and celebrities who wanna avoid the public attention and media scrutiny that comes with the image of the stingy ex-husband.

And again, yes, even your sweet generous, god-fearing fiance/husband can turn into a petty vindictive man who can go to great lengths and spend enormous sums of money on lawyers to strip you of everything he has ever offered you just because he can.

Remember that this kind of men don’t present themselves as such in the beginning, they slowly turn into it. Every woman who gets willingly married thinks the world of her fiance.

So you can stop idealizing the fictional image of this high-caliber perfect gentleman you might have built in your head (with the help of some femininity gurus) and start seeing them as who they are: Humans. Nothing less, nothing more.

The fact is, human behavior is unpredictable. The emotional and psychological makeup of other individuals and the inner workings of their minds remain a puzzle (sometimes even to themselves) no matter how much you think you know them. So plan your life accordingly.

Relationships are complicated by default, and money tends to have a snowball effect of good things and bad things.
You may find this too cynical for your taste, and say: “ Why is she talking about divorce and breakups”

Well, because they happen. And actually, divorce is not the worst-case scenario.

The real nightmare is being trapped with a man who knows you can’t afford to leave and takes advantage of it( and calls your bluff if you threaten to leave) and those situations are more prevalent than you think. More so amongst the shiny socialites you see in magazines and Instagram.

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Those of them who do leave, more times than not, end up with no more than 6 months paid lease on an apartment, a sum of money that may appear large to people who have never handled their expenses, and a collection of pictures and memories of their previous life. Or they end up living (not owning) in a house they can’t afford its upkeep.

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Don’t get me wrong, I am all for being fully provided for and more. I have never even entertained the idea of another relationship dynamic for myself. But NEVER delegate your entire livelihood to a man or any “one” person under the misguided idea of a “soft life” or “ traditional gender roles”.

Don’t give anyone too much power over your life, power corrupts. Not only that, but this kind of power imbalance can be harmful to your relationship.

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Get a degree, and start a small side business with the idea of growing it. Even if it’s silly and it doesn’t make much money yet… have him invest in your financial independence and take advantage of the fact that all your expenses are taken care of.

At best, if he is the gentleman you wish him to be, he will encourage you to be successful and be secure enough to help you achieve that ( contrary to common belief: good and well-adjusted men have no issue empowering you), and at worst, he wants you to be at his mercy. So get the memo and prepare your exit strategy in silence.

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It’s no coincidence that many wives or public girlfriends to “rich men” are now influencers or starting businesses. It’s not because their husbands are going bankrupt, or they’re not provided for … it’s actually the opposite, They are capitalizing on the lavish lifestyle and resources they now gained access to to kick-start their careers ( as they should).

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Again, don’t get the wrong end of the stick. I am insinuating that you start to contribute to the household budget or god forbid go “50/50”. Not at all, keep the status quo, save your money, reinvest it in the business, and grow it. And don’t think about providing, because if you played your hypergamy cards right (by marrying way up), it should take years for you to start making the kind of money that could bankroll the lifestyle your partner provides.

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For those of you who are still reading, I want you to know that a “soft life “ is possible, and it’s even softer when you are financially and legally secure by real assets, not handbags and shoes or a little sum of stagnant money.

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So ladies, always remember: it’s better to be safe than sorry.

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Celine, with love ❤

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Celine Gray Gold-digger - Engineer - Wife I talk about hypergamy, money, success, and everything I learned from 25+ years of dating up and marrying up.