Does my husband pay for my expensive lifestyle?
Does my husband pay for my expensive lifestyle? and should he?↓
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Aside from the financial component, we have a pretty egalitarian relationship dynamic and I can’t have it otherwise. We both have the same access to “our” personal money, and the same voting power.
We have expense-oriented budgets that we create together, like a household budget, a home renovation and interior budget when we moved to the UK… and so on. For large purchases, the process usually involves a financial advisor/accountant.
I do have my own businesses and streams of income (that I like to develop and grow), but it’s peanuts compared to his. I can fund (kind of) the same lifestyle I have now on my own if his resources are out of the picture (I wouldn’t, but I could…I am a seasoned gold-digger)
My husband has absolutely no thoughts about my wardrobe choices except that it’s beautiful and chic… Because his wardrobe and clothing expenses are probably bigger than mine.
I am much more financially frugal than he is in general. My husband has his initials embroidered on every formal shirt he owns (Yes it is very snobby, I agree… but it’s more common than you think).
So it would be bizarre and out of character if he had any negative opinions about the cost of my clothes considering the cost of his.
There is a general misconception and narrative (created in Hollywood) that is rooted in plain -sexism- (yes I said it) that women’s lifestyle cost is inherently higher than men’s, and clothing and elegance is a women-specific expense. Which is fallacious if taken as an absolute viewpoint.
It can be, that’s true. But only the men don’t indulge in a certain standard of living either by choice ( when they think we should all wear a GAP T-shirt and be happy) or by necessity.
Let’s talk about the economics of an elegant gentleman.
Do you know how much a one bespoke suit costs? The variations of fabrics and tailoring there are in men’s attire? The shoes? The watches and all the accessories a man wears to look sharp and well-groomed? And the WATCHES again? The cufflinks, pocket squares, tie bars?
I am not even going to mention men's toys when they have a hobby. Just check the men’s section of any established fashion house that caters to men.
(Side note: It’s so important to familiarize yourself with subtle displays of wealth in men and their standards of living so you can have a trained eye in spotting successful men… in addition to many other things of course)
One of the very important aspects of the success of any relationship (hypergamous or not) is lifestyle alignment and compatibility and I made sure of that in my second marriage.
I just don’t have it in me to haggle with a man about the price of a pair of shoes or jewelry.
I couldn’t date, let alone marry a man who doesn’t partake and appreciate the fine joys a capitalist society has to offer such as fashion. Or (god forbid) someone who thinks that appearance is a frivolous unnecessary interest. Many wealthy men have this mentality, but they are the exception, not the rule, believe me.
Most successful men understand the value of a polished and sophisticated allure and intentionally seek it.
So, ladies, before you think about committing to anyone, make sure you are compatible in these aspects (assuming you’ve already made sure that he can afford it) or you will deal with a never-ending uphill battle about every bill that doesn’t make sense to him or doesn't qualify as a justified expense.
And if he has no issue spoiling himself but is stingy with you or power trips on providing or any act of generosity… he is just not a provider and never will be, or worst ...he’s an abusive man on the rise and I highly recommend you get out of that relationship before the abuse escalates (because it will, it always does).
I hope this was informative, feel free to respond to this email and let me know your thoughts on the topic and what dynamic relationship you, personally, would like to have.
Celine, with love ❤
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